Four years ago this weekend my best friend Jackie passed away from complications after a heart surgery. It was the most devastating loss I have faced. I still think about her almost daily and it doesn't hurt any less. She was 25 when she died and had only been married 8 months. She had her whole life ahead of her, and dreamt of children, a new home being built, and a lifetime with her new husband. She was beautiful, young and seemingly healthy and her death was a shock to every one who knew her. I am heartsick when I think about how she never met Jason (because she would have loved him) and how she will never hold Isabel. As kids we planned to do everything together and we pretty much did. We joked that we would still be friends in the nursing home when our husbands were long gone. I will never know anyone else like her and I will miss her for the rest of my life.
This weekend I am remembering the little things about her. The stuff we did together and the way she made me laugh. I am remembering walking our crazy dogs around South Elgin, ding-dong ditching our neighbor, working at the Weiner Wagon, going to Colonial and the Manor for ice cream, proms, studying in the Hub, drinking wine, moving into our first apartment, singing at the top of our lungs in the car, shopping for her wedding dress, going to musicals in Chicago, job interviews, break-ups, and countless hours on the phone. I am remembering how she brought me flowers when I was accepted into grad school and held my hair back when I was sick. I am remembering how she was neater and more organized than anyone I knew and how we never got sick of watching Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion or The Sound of Music. I am remembering how we only got into only two fights during our friendship and how I valued her opinion more than anyone else's. I will always miss her but I am better for having known her. I love you Jackie and will never forget you.